Sacred Lovemaking

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dear God,

I am preparing to spend a couple of hours editing our book. But before I do, I want to speak with you for a few minutes.

I am extremely grateful for my life at the moment. It is filled with love, joy and adventure. Life is good.

Indeed, Life Is Good, my son,

Far too many miss the joy—the joy of adventure that is all of life. Even diversity is an adventure. I am happy that you find joy in life at the moment.

Your beloved friend has much to do with this. She has helped to open your eyes to all that you are. Through your experience with her you have expanded the vision of who you are. You have always been more than you conceived yourself to be.

She has not only opened my eyes—she has opened my heart. My dear God, I did not realize until I fell in love with her to the extent that my heart had been closed.

This is no small thing—just as your heart has never been a small thing. You, my son, love fully—with your whole heart. One needs only to step into your space to feel the power of your love—it radiates from you. This was the truth of what was, of what is prior to your meeting of this woman.

A chance encounter.

There was no chance encounter—but a divine moment of pure love, of pure attraction. For the two of you have attracted the other to bring both evolution and love. And of course, dear ones, to heal each other in ways that no other can.

Divine moment or not, it was a very brief encounter.

Pure connection happens in an instant. Measurable in micro-seconds—nay, in nano-seconds.

And so it came to pass.

Let us back up for a few moments. Please share what brought you to this meeting. Your schedule was extremely busy at the time, yet you made time for this meeting fully realizing that you may never attend again.

I went to spend time with another dear friend.

So love brought you to the meeting. Love guides your every move. And yes, my son, it is often for the love a woman. Most of which are happily married; yet, you often fall in love with them and them with you.

It is a fine example of being able to be “in love” with more than one person. And yet never disrespecting or diminishing the love they have for their spouses.

Yes, I have fallen in love with these divine beings and them with me. I wish there was a better phraseology for what we share but it does serve well to explain our feelings to others.

The phrase invokes memories of falling in love. Most everyone remembers those first few moments of falling in love. Yes, it involves infatuation but it also includes a purity of love that somehow brings us closer to you. Or at least a deeper understanding of you.

What God brings together let no one bring asunder.

Asunder is a powerful word. And I wish to remind those reading this that in includes any thought process that would debase the love this man shares with other women—married or not.

There is a level of purity of love that surpasses the romantic; that surpasses the physical. In its purest form it can manifest itself as a desire for physical touch to express itself. Not to just express it, but to exchange it.

This most often is expressed via a hug. A hug that engulfs them in love; a love so pure that they felt as if they have been hugged by me. And so they have, for I dwell within you.

You dwell within them as well. I too have felt as if hugged by you.

Yes, my son, I know you feel intensely loved by them. And through that love you know me. But I do not speak lightly of your ability to hug. It is no ordinary hug and you should not try to diminish the power of my description by equating it to their hugs. They simply are not the same.

I do not wish to diminish the impact their hugs have on me.

Nor do I. You feel extremely loved when within their arms. But I tell you truly: their experience of your hug is much different than what you are experiencing through theirs. I tell you: they feel as if hugged by God, by me.

I have been told of the power of my hug. I hug as I hug. But I am humbled by references “to having been hugged by God.”

You do not hug as you hug. Far too often you hug from politeness. I would say that all who you encounter would benefit from an engulfing hug. This you do not do. You often hold back.

Are you lecturing me?

Far from it. I am praising you. You are trying to dismiss the power of your engulfing hug by saying, “I hug as I hug.” I am simply not letting you get away with it.

I am not making a judgment in the above paragraph. I said “far too often” because your present society does not presently allow you to hug all who would benefit from one of your engulfing hugs.

I am humbled by a memory of when I refused your command to hug another. I realize in these moments how much that priest would have benefited from an engulfing hug.

There are tears in your eyes and upon your cheeks. There is true regret in your heart. And that was more than twenty years ago.

I regret the lost opportunity for another to feel the presence of God through a much needed hug. I failed you; I failed him; I failed myself.

That failure was a success. For you both—nay—for all three of us. I was blessed by this failure, for you and I became closer.

You have not refused me in a very long time.

That does not mean I have not missed opportunities.

I will remind you that others are equally responsible for having missed the opportunity to be hugged by you.

I will remind you that not every hug is meant to be an engulfing hug. That does not mean they would not benefit from such a hug, just that this is not it was not the moment for it.

We were speaking about falling in love with the divine beings in my life.

My son, I am sure that there is still some small part of you that carries guilt for falling in love with other men’s wives.

I have to constantly remind myself that my intentions are pure.

You think because the love that you have for these women becomes passionate that it is somehow impure? You think because your passion leads to thoughts of making love to these women that somehow your love for them is impure?

It is a fine line to walk.

Love, passion and sex are all different things.

Tell me, do you wish to have sex with these women?

No, not really.

Yet, you desire, strongly desire, passionately desire, desire with your whole heart to be naked with these women and to make love to them?

Oh my dear God, yeessss. (With humility and shame.)

And somehow you think that not just that such the act, but the very thought of doing so is wrong?

Yes. I guess. It feels disrespectful of marriage vows.

You feel it would be disrespectful or even an abuse of this sacred covenant?

Yes.

And what of your covenant with me to love one another?

I realize to make love to the women in question would be an honoring of that covenant.

Yes it would. But it wouldn’t be sex, would it?

I’m not sure.

Just because you might become aroused, just because she might become aroused by being made love to in such a manner, does not make it a sex act. An erect penis or a moist vagina does not equate to a sex act.

Perhaps it would serve us, that is you, I and our readers, if you would describe the love making your envision.

You have established the desire to be naked with these ladies, so let us move beyond the removal of clothing.

I want you to particularly pay attention to the setting of the space. Be specific.

First, as I set the space, my heart is full of love—a deep and pure love.

I gather candles. At least a dozen, maybe more. As we are going to be nude, it’s important that the room be warm. The candles additionally add a warm glow to the room that is palpable. As I light the candles, I start to think of the person I am about to make love to; I think about how much I love them.

My heart is filled with even more love. So much so that it starts to flow out of me and into the room. I imagine it filling the entire space. Floor to ceiling, wall to wall. It moves beyond the room, it flows out and away from the room. If present, any negativity flows out and away from the room. There is nothing but love in the room and thus, I start to create a sacred space.

Sacred—as in holy—as in dedicated and consecrated to, for and by me.

I next select music. Typically this would be selected from a variety of New Age music. It might be Enya, Yanni, Bliss or Celtic Women. Or maybe just instrumental music. Romantic music or love songs would not be selected. As I write this, I am listening to The Quiet Side by John Michael Talbot. While it would not be typically chosen to make love to, I certainly could use it in this situation. I would continue to flow love into the room, as the music brought a higher vibration to the space.

Next, I would bring a couple bottles of water to the room and place them conveniently. With the heat from the candles and the energy of lovemaking, the water will be refreshing. I often heat a small dish of massage oil and have it available.

The bed clothes are pulled back, with a sheet ready to be pulled up if my guest is chilled. A pillow is positioned. I may freshen the sheets and pillow with Febreeze.

All now is prepared and the sacred space is ready for my guest. It is important that we be comfortable in our nakedness. Creating the sacred space aids in this. When my guest comes into the room, their love adds to the sacredness of the space.

The world, our life’s concerns, remain on the other side of the space. We are here to express our love for each other certainly, but I also strongly feel that what we are about to share also honors you, my dear God. This IS a sacred space, and all else disappears, and we are one—my guest, myself and you. You are always present in such times.

This is the way of sacred lovemaking. I AM present.

So let us move forward in your narrative. With the wave of my hand the woman in question is upon your bed.

Are you aroused?

No. No I am not. I am in awe of the wonder of the moment. I am humbled, blessed and honored to have chosen to perform this act of love.

And that is?

To make love to them in the most holy of ways via the touch of my hands.

Describe this for me.

It is through the flow of love. The same love that flowed through me to fill this space and to make it sacred. Many know of the energy of Reiki and how it used to heal. The love that flows through me is similar.

Where does this love come from?

I believe from you. I experience this loving energy coming in through my crown chakra. It flows to my heart and then radiates through my body. I become aware of it flowing out of my heart, down my arms, to my hands, and then finally to my fingertips.

But in your case, there is more than just love energy.

Yes. I combine it with pure gratitude. I am truly grateful for this moment, for this opportunity, for this woman, and of course for you. My heart is filled with this energy and it entwines itself with the love energy and becomes even more powerful. This combined energy, this powerful force becomes almost profound in its ability to heal.

I tell you it is rare for these two energies to be combined in the manner that you do so.

How do you administer this force?

As I previously alluded to: through my fingertips.

Where do you start?

Usually with a single kiss. A soft, gentle and loving kiss. It is never a passionate kiss and is usually just the one, but there may a second. I may, or may not also softly kiss her heart.

It is always at her heart that I begin my touch. Just two or three fingertips. With this first sacred touch, she may gasp in the pulse of energy that has just surged through her body.

My fingers (just the fingertips of my right hand) slowly and gentle start to move across her body. From her heart, across her belly, to her hip, down her thigh, over her knee, and finally to her shin.

Not to her feet?

At this point, I am usually lying beside her and it is difficult to reach her feet. If she was on a massage table, it would easy to reach her entire body. But somehow, it seems more powerful that I am lying beside her on the bed.

And so it is. Your body radiates love—and gratitude.

My fingertips will cross over to the other shin and trace its way back to her heart.

I lift my hand and gentle place my fingertips upon her forehead and slowly trace a path to her heart. I return to her forehead and gently trace a path down the other side of the face returning once again to the heart.

Once again at the heart, I trace an ever-widening pattern as I have just described. This step may take ten to fifteen minutes.

Before you go on with your description, please describe what you know to be happening energetically as you do this.

Love—a pure love, an unconditional love, love that accepts her and her body as she is in this glorious moment—is flowing through my fingertips. Every cell of her body is started to feel this love.

I now move from using just using my full hand instead of just the fingertips. I take care to maintain a soft, gentle, loving touch. I may use vanilla scented massage oil at this point to aid my hand in gliding over her body. Somehow the scent heightens the sensuality of the moment and adds to the sacredness. As my full hand has more surface area than my fingertips, more of the combined energies of love and gratitude flow over and into her body. This becomes more intense as the lovemaking continues.

And now her body truly lights up, she starts to glow.

She feels incredibly loved. I continue this soft and gentle massage. The pressure is always light upon her body. This step may take at least a half an hour, maybe more. At this point, I do usually move so that I can caress her entire body.

Her entire body?

Within limits. I may touch her pubic area, but not her genitals. I will touch her soft inner thighs and her breasts and nipples.

Aren’t her breasts also an erotic zone?

Yes, but I strive not to arouse her breasts but to simply love them in a way that honors her womanhood.

Does she become aroused?

Sometimes. Few women get touched and caressed at this level. And certainly never with this level of unconditional love. Even if she is aroused, I do not stimulate her genitals.

So give me the flipside. (Smiling)

(Soft chuckle) I do ask her to roll over and I continue the process. Soft, gentle caresses alternated with the touch my fingertips. I once again trace an ever-widening path upon her body. Always with flowing love and gratitude through my touch.

And this is when you become aroused?

Sometimes. I am a confirmed ass man. There is nothing more beautiful to me. While I do not enjoy anal sex, the shape of the ass, the softness of the skin, and the way it jiggles I find highly arousing. If I do become aroused, I move my body to hide it for this is not a sex act. As I concentrate on what I’m doing, my erection falls away.

Have you ever had a woman reach orgasm just from your touch?

It has happened, but rarely and usually not without genital stimulation. I would only do so with a lover and not as sacred lovemaking, but only as part of sacred sex. But as this is not a sex act, this is where I would stop.

Well not quite. I usually end with a gentle kiss upon the head and cover her body with a sheet or coverlet to keep her warm. I would usually leave the room, and allow her to soak in the afterglow of having been made love to in such a manner.

I will say that I have been told that many women find sacred lovemaking more satisfying than an orgasm.

Love is like that. Few people have been loved at the level you are speaking about. I should mention that you also heal with your loving touch. You heal areas they didn’t even know needed to be healed.

So I have been told.

So this is your idea of sacred lovemaking and what you desire to do with these married women?

With my whole heart.

Do you feel guilty about your desire?

I think it prudent to point out that I while I have made love to many women in this fashion, but I have never done so with a married woman. I do desire to do so with my whole heart. In some quiet moments, yes, I do feel guilty about this desire, but usually not. And that in itself bothers me.

Because you feel you are abusing the covenant of marriage vows?

Yes. And I am not sure if our covenant with you to love one another supersedes the marriage covenant.

And if I told you that it did?

If I felt called to make love to someone in this manner, then I would probably proceed. Guilt-ridden I’m sure, but I would proceed nonetheless.

Do you see that such guilt is in itself an act of honor rather than abuse?

To the extent that I can.

To conclude our discussion, let me ask you a few questions.

Have you ever been made love to in the manner you describe?

No.

After being made love to in such a manner, has anyone ever offered to make love to you in a likewise manner?

Yes. On occasion, but I always felt it was from a sense of obligation and reciprocation and I politely declined. As I said before, I prefer them to soak into the afterglow of the sacred lovemaking.

And I will also admit it is only recently that I have become fully capable of receiving such love.

Would you allow the woman in question to do so?

With certain restrictions, yes.

Pray, tell.

She would have to so from desire and not in reciprocation or from obligation. Nor would I want it to be during the same session as when I had given her the sacred massage. Or at least not until she had been able to transition from having been so intensely loved.

Is it not true that you would be just as happy if she never reciprocated?

My dear son, please share the thoughts that the mere thought of receiving such a massage has brought to your mind and heart.

To receive such a massage would surely break me to tears. I may well become a blubbering mess. I am sure I would cry.

Is this a bad thing?

No. Not at all. It would only be a reaction to the intensity of the love and healing I was receiving. As you well know I continue to struggle with fully loving myself. I have made great strides. Yet, in these moments, I cannot help but realize that the true message of our book is about my journey of how I have come to love myself.

It has truly been a Journey of the Heart. You give so freely of yourself, as this narrative of sacred lovemaking so obviously demonstrates. I would tell you that it would not hurt for you, too, to feel loved by me in the same fashion as these dear sweet women feel when you make sacred love to them through your touch.

Oh, I AM quite sure it would hurt. I would be exquisitely, emotionally overwhelmed with love. So much so that it would nearly be painful even as it would be blissful. And I realize it would heal areas that I have for far too long ignored.

And so it will be.

Are you saying the woman in question and I will indeed make love in such a fashion?

To each other. Without breaking her marriage covenant and with the full knowledge of her husband.

Many reading this will not believe you are advocating such a thing.

Many reading this have very limited ideas about me and about what is sacred. I tell you such lovemaking is sacred even when not shared within a marriage covenant.

By the sharing of this conversation, we are stretching their limits and expanding their understanding about love, about sex, about life and about me.

While we are expanding their understanding, let me ask you one last question.

I know what you’re going to ask and while it has the potential to embarrass me, I will not only answer it, but I will post it verbatim.

Excellent! So let me ask the question.

Have you ever thought of making love in this manner to another man?

Yes, I have. And the desire was equally intense as my feelings to make love to these married women. I wanted to do so with all my heart.

Was the desire sexual?

Not at all. Only an expression of my love for the man.

Did you do so?

No, not yet.

Not yet? You mean you would actually do so—beyond the thought or desire—you would act? (Slightly incredulous.)

If circumstances provided the opportunity—yes.

It is very brave of you to admit to this.

My sexuality does not come into my desire to make love in this manner; just as it doesn’t with a married woman.

Others will judge you for admitting to this desire.

The real question upon their minds is why on earth or maybe I would say why in heaven—are you not judging me for having the desire.

Simply put—I do not judge. Regardless of what is written (and interpreted from) ancient texts, I do not judge.

I will say one last thing to this.

There is no shame in nakedness, in touch, in love or in sacred touch. I tell you this: all of these can bring a deeper understanding and therefore a deeper relationship with me.

So. As I leave you, my son, I do so with these last thoughts:

Blessed be you, and

Blessed by your sacred lovemaking, and

Blessed by those who you make love to, and

Blessed be all who read this, and

Blessed be those who hear the truth of these words.

Blessed be this sacred sharing.

Blessed Be All.